BEYOND THE DOUBTS (Hit & Run Car Accidents)

In the summer of 2018, I was called to lead as a Youth Group Advisor in my local church. My late pastor arranged for me to take our teens to participate in a Christian Conference. Regardless of being uncomfortable around thousands of other teenagers, I decided to follow instructions and attend this big event. Days before our travel, I had visited my pastor and his family for dinner and discussed many thoughts about God’s higher calling, and the things I was facing in my personal life.  He passed on the day after I took some of our youths to visit him, which left me completely dismayed, but I had to move forward with the planned arrangements. This weighed heavily on my heart.

The day pastor told me about the travel plans.

When we began the travel, many times I felt discouraged. I complained and prayed to get my answers from my heavenly father, but little did I know, like always, He had great plans for me. During one of the meetings of our final destination, I encountered a calling to share my story which manifested into a lifetime experience. I was nervous at first. Unlike my dad, who was a great leader and a speaker in Asia, I wasn’t the speaker type. Besides, I wasn’t even prepared to say anything, but the Holy Spirit started leading me. What happened next was amazing. Many were touched and blessed by my testimony.

Last homeless food prep we did together.

After the life-changing trips, I had plans to take my daughter on a rewarding Disney Cruise. Meanwhile, on this fateful day, after dropping off my daughter to one of her school games as I hopped on the 134 freeway, I began having doubts about a few things.  I had many things on my plate, including unfinished business from the separation of my longtime marriage. I felt overwhelmed and so I began telling God, that maybe He should use someone else who would be a better fit for Him and of an excellent example to others than someone like me.

Ranting on about my thinking, suddenly I was hit from behind by a big truck.  My compact car hit an SUV to my front, which led into a three-big car collision, and just like that, I was taken to the emergency room.  Upon examination, doctors told me, it was a miracle that I was ok, considering the impact of the accident. Not to mention, this was the second accident I was involved in less than two years (both not my fault). Thank God my daughter was not in the car with me during the crash and a parent had offered to pick her up for me.

While I was laying on the hospital bed that night, the scripture, John 16:33, came to mind. I know that as a Christian, we are not immune against trials and temptations but to be involved in two significant car-accidents in less than two years with all the other tasks on my plate, I found it difficult to process.

However, as I reflected and asked God questions, he did not answer me right away.  The following days, He said to me, “You need to slow down my daughter. I’ve got great plans for you.” “You’ve witnessed many impossible things being possible, yet, you still doubt.”  It felt as though He was asking, ‘Are you in or not?’ “There is no middle ground, and I called you to serve and praise me because that is what you were born to do.”  It was like a spiritual confirmation to slow down and breathe because all that I was going through in my life was for a higher purpose.  It was an assurance of a better and brighter future.

Some people think that if you believe in God, such bad things shouldn’t be happening to you. I understand why they would think this way, even as Christians, we have these questions. Not to scare anyone off from becoming a believer, but from my personal experience, there was more hardship in Christ than when I was living my life freely, but also, John 16:33 had already told us about the troubles in this world.

Today, my body is still dealing with the pains. Things might never be the same again, life might become harder with these body issues and becoming a single mom, but because I know God’s plans are perfect, I can only be thankful because the scriptures admonish, “Give thanks in every circumstance, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” 1 Thessalonians 5:18.